DAY 80

Appleton, Wisconsin
July 18, 2009
Sat 12:10 AM

WARNING: PROFANITY LACED TIRADE AHEAD

but not yet... it's coming. so, you might think i've been slacking, not blogging for over a week, yes, i have been slacking, and it's a lot harder to type with one eye. i would think it wouldn't be tougher, but it is. i've been busy because i just started my two jobs... i've lost count of how many hours i've put in. 8 hours at one job, and 4 hours at the other most nights... that's 12 hour days. not to mention i haven't gottan a good night's sleep in, oh, like two weeks. i was looking forward to tonight, tonight i would sleep. i would even get to sleep in. now i can do neither, nada, no dice. why? because my fucking eye is draining and i have an infection. it blows. and why am i working two jobs... because i wanna make it rain. makin' bank, that's me. yes, i want money, everyone does, money = happiness, it's just most people don't have the balls to admit it. i'm not greedy, greed is wealth accumulated at the expense of others, i'm putting in my hours, this is all my doing.

anyway, enough about that, i'm fucking pissed because my eye is draining? again, have i mentioned how much this sucks? it's like your nose is running, but instead of having mucus come out your nostril it's coming out of your eye... boy it feels great. i just thought i had something in my eye at work... nope, infection. and my throat is sore and my nose is running, slighty, nothing compared to my right eye. it's getting glued shut as i type, and since i can't fucking sleep, i'm blogging. need something to take my anger out on. and of course i get sick now of all times... why now? why is now so inconvenient? BECAUSE I HAVE NO FUCKING HEALTH INSURANCE THAT'S WHY!!!!!!!! God bless america right, the richest country with the most fucked over citizens. and why do i have no health insurance? because i went to college, and because i graduated from college (even got my diploma in the mail yesterday, so it's official) and i even found a job. two in fact, less than a month after i graduated i was offered a job. that has left me without health insurance,because in this country, as soon as you graduate your insurance from your parents ceases to exist, so you better find a job the day after you graduate. and that job better not have a waiting period for your insurance benefits.... hahahahahahahahahahaha, like that magical job exists. i will soon have insurance, not soon enough, i have to wait the 90 or whatever days. so, of course i need to see a doctor NOW! and i should point out, i have not needed a medication, nor seen a doctor since i was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!! and i'm not kidding about that, other than physicals and that stuff, i have had immaculate health. no major illnesses, no broken bones, no stitches, NO INFECTIONS... no draining eye... nothing. until now, now that i have no fucking health insurance. son of a bitch, as if the symptons of this thing aren't bad enough. and i was ready to ignore it, oh yes, i thought, oh, my eye is drainging whatever, and my tyoping is getting progressively worse as i can't see very well, whatever, i can live with that. then i told my mother, who, apparently, loves me and told me i had an infection and i should call the doctor. or rather the nurse on call and schedule an appointment.

fine, i thought i'll call, make the appointment sometme before work, i guess i cna pay it, but at least i'll get some damn sleep for once.... NOOOO, no sleep for salbrent. there was nothing available, so i have to get my ass out of bed at seven tomorrow and try again, so not only will i not be able to sleep tonight because of my fucking eye, but i'll have to not sleep and get up early. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP NOW, THIS INSOMNIA THING HAS GROWN OLD AND MY FUCKING EYE IS DRAINING... LEAKING... WHATEVER. i talked to someone a few weeks ago about my insomnia, cause that week i hadn't slept, well, in a week. she asked if i was hallucinating yet, cause apparently that happens. no, i said, but i'm getting very agry at people, thank goodness i have good self control. not now, not now. i might have mentioned that already, i don't know, i don't fucking care.

i don't want to be that person who coplains, i was planning on writing my comeback blog about how i'm so lucky to have two jobs. and i am, i hate those people who every other day their facebook status is about how crappy their life is. i hate those people, i need to unfriend those people. note to self, unfriend pessimests later. those people, using facebook to gain sympothy, i never try to gain sympothy. i'm not now, hell, right now i can't even spell it. those people, boo hoo, my life sucks, good thing i have a computer to show the world how unfortunate life is for me. shut the fuck up, you have a fucking computer, and i'm pretty sure a roof over your head, you are so lucky compared to almost everyone else in the world. stop your complainanig. i am not trying to get sympothy, or anything, i'm just relaly pissed firght now, real f-in' pissed. and i want to sleep, and i can't cause of my fuckin' eye. and i want to sleep in, but i can't cause i need to make a phone call. but, i'm still better off that most people in the world. but not those people in western europe and canada and japan, cause they get fucking universal health care coverage. honestly, right now if one of those people against obama's plan was in this room iwth me, trust me, they'd leave in worst shape than i'm in right now. but, then again i'm sure that conservative nut would have health insurance, and thus be in the clear. not me, not me. ahhhh, my eye, this really fucking sucks. a lot. fucking sucks a lot.

i really wanted to write about how i'm a rockstar, or about... hell i don't even remember now i'm so angry. i think it had to do with rainbows and kittens though, pretty sure. oh, and now i read that walter cronkite has died... that's too bad.

i'm out, i shall crawl back into bed (i crawled all the way out of it to just write this angry blog) and ly there, like i've been doing the past two weeks. and then wait for the radio to go off and call the doctor. how futile will that be> we'll see soon enough, but not soon enough because it's not like i'm gonna be sleeping and time will move quicker. a draining eye, this blows. and super sore throat, only on the right side of my head, the infected side of my head. good thing i DON'T have health insurance. as if my heart practically exploding isn't bad enough, i'll save that for another blog. so looking forward to waking... who am i kidding, rising out of bed with my right eye glued shut. oh joy.

salbrent