DAY 63

Appleton, Wisconsin
June 16, 2009
Tue 12:13 AM

so i took the alpha-numeric typing test today, i scored advanced on one set and basic on the other. i can't remember which part i did which at, i think i was advanced at the numeric part and basic at the alpha part. which makes absolutely no sense, i'm way better at typing letters than numbers, but, there you have it. the good thing is i didn't suck, so that's nice. i hope that's good enough to get this job, i think it is... i hope it is... i really hope it is.

the cigar is waiting on my shelf and the champagne... well, i don't really like champagne. and while i said i'd given up alcohol, i'll make an exception if i get this job. note to self, go buy a six-pack of high life... the champagne of beers. i'd much rather have that than real champagne anyway. but, you know, americans have this convention of calling all their sparkling whites champagne, even though by definition they're not. but, regardless, sparkling white wine, champagne... i don't care, i'd rather have the finest milwaukee beer.

oh, and met with my trainer at golds again... took a skin fold test and all that jazz, and, surprise surpise, i'm fat. tell me something i don't know. but, he said that with dedication and hard work i could get in really good shape in a year, and see results in a few months. good, i like that. i could get into athlete shape in a year and a half. so, that's nice too i guess.

i really hope i get the job, i could really go for a beer and a cigar. none shall touch my lips before i get confirmation of a job offer though. must not tempt fate. cannot count chickens before they hatch... and all that stuff. i've seen people who are overconfident, their overconfidence is their weakness. i've found if you expect the negative reaction, when you get the postive it's all the sweeter. i had absolutely convinced myself that i was losing my job in january, so imagine my surpise when they kept me. me, and one other person out of 40. this other girl was certain she was being retained... boy was she pissed when she got let go. i, on the other hand, had to ask my boss to repeat what he said, because in my head i still heard "no, we can't keep you on," instead of "we'd like to offer you a position here." so, no tempting the fate. while even i have to admit that i'm very close... it's still just close and not certain. fate will not be tempted on my watch.

i'm not saying that i'm not a confident person, i am, but i'm not overconfident. i'm truly a realist, and try to be logical in my decisions and actions versus acting on raw emotion. emotion has it's place and time, but most cases the logical course of action is the right one. i have friends who keep saying, when you get the job, and i correct them with, "if." and they say be positive, and i say it's better to be real. some people need to visualize the results they want, and that's fine, i'd rather go out, do my hardest to put everything in motion to get the results i want and then leave it up to the people to make the decision. there's nothing more to be done, it's either meant to be or not meant to be.

alright, that's all. for once i crave sleep, so i'll give in to my tired brain. i need rest, tomorrow i will finish my room. there, i'll be overconfident for once.

salbrent