DAY 67

Milwaukee, Wisconsin
June 20, 2009
Sat 12:25 AM

i just don't feel like blogging lately, which is too bad, cause i really do enjoy it. it's a good conduit and release from all the thoughts in my head which have the potential to drive me crazy throughout the day. it's quite a release, a detox, if you will, of the day. but lately, work leaves me so exhausted, my feet and my brain. and as if that isn't enough, it's been incredibly frustrating lately. and, i know i know, i don't talk about work, but i figure making broad generalizations can't hurt, can it? anyway, work's been frustrating lately, which in and of itself is frustrating because i am an incredibly easy-going person. i don't get caught up in office politics and all that. but, lately, i feel like i'm being taken for granted, which i don't like. nobody does. and i'm not going to take it anymore. i'm not gonna be the pushover, i'm gonna stand up for myself. if only this society allowed disagreements and frustrations to be settled by hand to hand combat... i'd feel much more at ease in the world. but no, you gotta discuss things as "civilized" people. i'm not a discusser, i'm a doer, and i like to do my own thing. and as an introvert, i hate having discussions that can be avoided. i'd rather my fists did the talking.

this typing is making me come off as a mentally unbalanced, violent person. nothing coulde be further from the truth, i have never been in a fight outside a ring, and, really, i'm more mad at myself for being a push-over. i'm too non-confrontational, i'm only saying that i'd do better if people fought their disagreements and arguments to conclusions, and i'm fairly certain i'd come out on top most of the time. i'm not a complainer, and i can put up with most anything. but being taken for granted... this i cannot stand for.

alright, that's enough discussion about work for one post, notice how i made no specific arguments, used no names (heck, i don't even write friends names in this blog) and i've still never mentioned where i work or what i do. i think i'm pretty safe in all this. and to just highlight what a desirable employee i am i'll say this... in my five-year employment history working, oh... six or so different jobs, i have never missed a day (aside from vacation days arranged for far in advance), i have never called in sick, and i've been late once... just the other day i was about 20 minutes late... but i called and gave a heads up, it was no problem, and it was due to my two-hour commute... which i think is pretty reasonable. for three summers and one winter i worked in a manufacturing plant and not once did i ever punch in late, not once. and i've never taken a sick-day, never even taken a *wink *wink sick day where i really just wanted to go go-karting or see a movie or something. work is work, and i value loyalty above almost all else. people in this day and age are not loyal, if i say i'm going to do something, i do it. people all the time say, oh yeah, i'll call you, or, yeah, i'll do this. and they never follow through. not me, loyal, that's what you can call me. Loyalty, a quality severely lacking in people today... everyone just looks out for themselves. and i guess, if i have one big flaw (and i have several) it would be that i don't look out for myself enough. i expect others to look out for their peers, and while i do it, i find no one is looking out for me. certainly not my work right now. fuck it, i gotta do a better job of looking out for myself.

man, there's so much more i wanted to write about. about how mountain dew brought back the "game fuel" flavor (dew with a blast of citrus cherry flavor) much to my detriment. how iran finally shut down twitter, facebook, and other networking sites in that country. how i saw that funny captain morgan restroom sign in green bay again... i took a picture of it too, i'll try to post it tomorrow or something, i need to put pictures and stuff into my blog more often, you know, make it more interactive. and tons more... hopefully i'll remember to do it tomorrow, and hopefully i won't feel as apathetic as well. but i gotta say, for a blog that i thought would be two short paragraphs, i did a pretty damn good job.

salbrent